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The twelve Olympians || The twelve Olympians (cont.) || Other major gods
The nine Muses || The nine Muses (cont.)
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| The twelve Olympians (cont.) |
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Athena is the goddess of wisdom, knowledge, crafts and strategy, and was born from the brain of Zeus after he
mistook the nymph Metis for a delicious cheezburger and gobbled her. She's the smartest of all Olympians and can lead mortal armies
with a success rate comparable to Ares', minus the high death toll, which infuriates the latter. Like the huge nerd she is, she tends
to favour complex vocabulary over simpler words and is often bullied by the brutal god of war. She gets annoyed when her point of view
is dismissed on sexist grounds, but usually reacts in a somewhat diplomatic way.
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Apollo is the slightly smug god of the Sun, light, arts, archery, prophecy, healing and truth, born to
Zeus and Leto, and as such, drives the Sun (the ball of fire, not the newspaper) every day, while managing to multitask hard enough
to tend to all of his other responsibilities. His status as the god of truth also means he finds himself unable to lie to the point
where he can prove extremely blunt and straightforward.
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Artemis is the tomboyish, shotgun-totting virgin goddess of nature, hunting, the wildlife, and the Moon, and
Apollo's twin sister. She's not quite as mild-mannered as some other deities, and has a generally vengeful, easily offended attitude; she
hardly ever thinks twice before using her powers on mortals she thinks may have disrespected her. As she can prove somewhat hyperactive,
she has also been given the responsibility to push all the mortals who have been improperly buried away from the Styx' banks, a task she
finds very entertaining, like a massive zombie-shooting scenario.
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Hermes is the god of thieves, tradespeople, travellers, wit and athletics, born to Zeus and his mistress Maia.
He's much of a trickster and the nasty habit to swipe everything he can, all the time; as such, he can prove annoying to many another
deity. His function among the gods is that of the supreme Messenger - choosing a mythomaniac, kleptomaniac entity as a trusted courier
may be a questionable decision, but you don't argue with Zeus. Whether he was playing favourites with his illegitimate son, whether
said son proved reliable or whether his mischief was just endearing remains a mystery so far.
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Aphrodite is the goddess of beauty, love and sexual desire. Aphrodite was born... well, that's a bit embarrassing, really...
from the scrotum of the Sky-God Ouranos after it fell into the sea after being severed by his own unborn offspring during intercourse.
She's known to have slept with countless gods, including (what a surprise) Zeus. She got married to Hephaestus, the repulsive god of
fire, through a cunning scheme of his, and promptly cheated on him with the maaaaaanly god of war. Aphrodite has the unpleasant
tendancy to a) shag virtually everything that moves and b) make whoever annoys her sexually deviant.
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Dionysus is the god of alcohol, drunkenness, merriment, parties and insanity, the creator of the vine and the
only member of the Alcoholic Godly. Another of Zeus' illegitimate children, he was born from his thigh after the cheating god stored
his unborn son there. He can be trusted to bring joy and lots of booze in a party, but not much more, being not only chronically intoxicated,
but also being of very questionable mental stability.
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